We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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