I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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