There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
