Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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