Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
