Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
