just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
