i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
