so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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