my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize