I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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