my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
