I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
