He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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