Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
try to milk me bitch
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