I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Couch. On fire.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
