Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
