You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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