Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
