doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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