I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
