; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
