Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
