you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
