i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
