She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
