....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
