***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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