blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
