So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm at about main and main street
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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