Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
