I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
