Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
