I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
