So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
