The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize