Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
