I CAN MOONWALK!
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
