i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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