oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
