do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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