I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
