I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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