Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
