its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
