You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
