Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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