how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
