I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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