It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
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