sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I need moral support for this bender
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
