Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize