Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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