my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
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