Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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