How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
