I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
