? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
