I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
