just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
