Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
my liver is dry heaving
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
