Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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