Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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