Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
