Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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