rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
