Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
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